My 4 year old niece says: Thank you.
I say: You don't even know what I was saying that for. Why are you thanking me?
She says: Thank you for being kind.
Goddamn that's sweet. Just look at that sweetness.
Saturday, April 27, 2013
kindness
I say to my sister: Nobody even said thank you.
My 4 year old niece says: Thank you.
I say: You don't even know what I was saying that for. Why are you thanking me?
She says: Thank you for being kind.
Goddamn that's sweet. Just look at that sweetness.
My 4 year old niece says: Thank you.
I say: You don't even know what I was saying that for. Why are you thanking me?
She says: Thank you for being kind.
Goddamn that's sweet. Just look at that sweetness.
Sunday, April 14, 2013
Sunday, April 07, 2013
on mad men
Spoiler alert re: Mad Men.
Don's is a story of shame (a child of a prostitute, poor, unloved, unvalued, a deserter, a liar, a coward). He lives a life with Betty that on the surface is perfection. An unbelievably beautiful wife (January is GORgeous), a successful career, a family and home. But he is hiding himself because he thinks he has to be better than what he is, he needs to compensate for what is lacking at his core. So he is perfect to Betty. He asks her over and over - what do you want me to say? - as if saying - give me my line, tell me how/what/who to be in this act so I can maintain this image.
But of course it is unnatural to live like this. And so he cheats. He cheats because the shame in his heart is buried deep and there is no other escape valve through which to release the pressure. He needs to feel better about himself, and what's better than to be wanted. He cheats to soothe the ache or the lack of feeling (as Roger says after his mother's death - I feel nothing) or whatever he may be experiencing as a result.
He tries to FILL the hole by internalizing/consuming/acquiring women. Like the Jaguar ad: finally something beautiful you can own. By owning Megan, he is closer to pureness, optimism, goodness. Women are to him what babies are to Angelina Jolie. Through them they validate their own worth and feel a little less isolated from the world. But it is temporary. An endless supply is needed to fill this space because it is just a temporary relief. It is as effective as warming up a body in the cold - as soon as you stop rubbing you feel the bitter cold seep back in.
He is perfection. He is not perfect but is perfection - the perfect portrayal of a talented, beautiful man built on a foundation of shame. Genius.
Don's is a story of shame (a child of a prostitute, poor, unloved, unvalued, a deserter, a liar, a coward). He lives a life with Betty that on the surface is perfection. An unbelievably beautiful wife (January is GORgeous), a successful career, a family and home. But he is hiding himself because he thinks he has to be better than what he is, he needs to compensate for what is lacking at his core. So he is perfect to Betty. He asks her over and over - what do you want me to say? - as if saying - give me my line, tell me how/what/who to be in this act so I can maintain this image.
But of course it is unnatural to live like this. And so he cheats. He cheats because the shame in his heart is buried deep and there is no other escape valve through which to release the pressure. He needs to feel better about himself, and what's better than to be wanted. He cheats to soothe the ache or the lack of feeling (as Roger says after his mother's death - I feel nothing) or whatever he may be experiencing as a result.
He tries to FILL the hole by internalizing/consuming/acquiring women. Like the Jaguar ad: finally something beautiful you can own. By owning Megan, he is closer to pureness, optimism, goodness. Women are to him what babies are to Angelina Jolie. Through them they validate their own worth and feel a little less isolated from the world. But it is temporary. An endless supply is needed to fill this space because it is just a temporary relief. It is as effective as warming up a body in the cold - as soon as you stop rubbing you feel the bitter cold seep back in.
He is perfection. He is not perfect but is perfection - the perfect portrayal of a talented, beautiful man built on a foundation of shame. Genius.
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